I am a tri-lingual French Doggie. Charm, panache and humility describe me well. I am happy to share my observations of Paris, Portland and my thoughts about the many cookies dancing through my head.
As I said, Maman went to Paris to be a present for Maika’s old lady birthday. Maman is actually also going to be an old lady (though frankly by her behavior you certainly might question that!). I hate to admit it I am also beginning to age…though by looking at me you’d never know it! Amazing what rolling in the sand and stinky things will do for a girl!
Anyway, Charles, Maika BFE (Boyfriend For Ever) went ALL out for her. Took her to Venice for a week and then planned this ENORME party at his country Estate …and I wasn’t there!
Actually Maman also had a big birthday bash for me several years ago in a cafe in Montmartre and she organized a live Jazz band for me!
With my Dogmother Marijke! Look at all my cadeaux!!!Me dancing with Maman…its blurry parceque it’s a bar in Paris!Maman and Anne Patricia (other DogMother)Marijke and nutty sister who came specially from the Hague to be at mon Anniversaire!Jean Fred…Best looking man in Montmartre says Maman. Claudia and FrouFrou!
Back to Maika’s party…
Maman and one of her nutty friends (the BEST kind of friend) went to help and get out of the sweltering Paris fumes. Il faisait tres tres chaud a Paris! (It was very very hot in Paris!) Now THAT I am glad I missed…(la chaleur !)
Here are some images of where I should have been!
With nutty friend Cyril swimming in the river….Maman also went in but no photos of her 8-(Maman’s nutty friend cooling off…More pre-Party behavior
The Party with many people. Maika in the red dress! Maman stole that woman’s hat I think…
From what I heard from Joker there was a very nice donkey too.
The Donkey
Joker (I will post une photo later) also told me Maman had a pistolet a eau and aimed it at several guests who became very wet. But they did not know where the wet came from. Hah! I wish I had been there….
Maman is very much a practical joker. Especially when she finds people to be behaving like poodles. I completement am willing to join the fun and bark incessantly and Maman starts screaming at me and franchement she makes more noise than moi.
So I just keep barking and people look at me funny. But I look right back at them and bark more. Non mais !
Anyway once again this is a Party where I was obviously needed. Joker said the food was beyond slurpable. I am drooling now.
So firstly she went to my city. And THEN. and THEN. she betrayed me. No not with another chien. I am used to that. Enervee but used to it. This time it was with a LAMA. A LAMA!
BETRAYAL!
And as if that was not enough… Un ENORME number of LAMAS!
Non mais JE REVE !!!
While meanwhile back in PORTLAND…. Gay PRIDE!
Alors la VRAIMENT… RIEN a dire. Non.
So while Maman is having fun with LAMAS in my City….I well I am a dog so I dont care how people choose to adorn themself.
Franchement I’m a little upset at Maman. She went to Paris without MOI. MY city and no MOI. There are friends of moi that I’m sure are having a difficile life in Montmartre without me. My ami Bobby for instance. Maman liked him a bit too much for moi but still we had many times together.
I even let Bobby live with us for un moment when his Maman had to abandon him and travel.
At Mamans PartyDog launch I let him wear my crown for un instant! He looked good but je suis la REINE after all so I had to have Maman take it back.
Bobby avec MA couronne
La REINE OhLive !
That was a fun party even though there were a few too many little yappers (little doggies) for my taste.
Droopy was there. That boy is so énamoured of me, I can hardly blame him. He was a bit late but of course we are all dependant on the Mamans. Ahhh the Mamans we love them yet…
they are SO SLOW! At everything, but most importantly at providing gouter. Or shnacks as they say here en Amerique.
Maman was really going to start a dog party business. I supported her complètement as I love a good party. She made pretty flyers with my fur and a photo of me.
and nice business cards and goodie bags and cup cakes that look like me. The launch party and my birthday took place at the best gallery in Montmartre. Of course.
Somehow the French were not quite ready for doggy parties. Never mind the fact that Maman did not properly research things.
But that is ma Maman. She is like a bulldozer that plows ahead. Thought avant (before) action is not always top of her mind.
Oh, mais comme je l’aime, ma Maman !
MAMAN
So her enthousiasme POUFFED out like a deflating soufflé au fromage. My, fromage sounds tres good right about now. Where is my diner anyway? Auntie Phyllis is quite good at respecting my dinner time. BUT isnt that time NOW? And isn’t it always NOW? So if I follow my nose and that thought and it hits me!
The suitcase, la valise, that vessel that comes out of hiding without warning. It’s out, la mechante ! Et oui, yes Maman is leaving again. She explained. I comprends and understand completement but cannot quite agree at all mais alors PAS DU TOUT why I can’t come too. After all we know I am of Service to her and that her emotional well being and bien etre is in mes pattes or my paws if you prefer. I have a SERVICE dog vest, I.D and demeanor.
OhLive en mode “Service a personne”
We do have a letter of a psychiatre which explains her issues. I wont say there are many but I will say that I am needed. Tout le temps and at all times. Maman seems to think I will be happier with Auntie Phyllis. Okay, c’est vrai, it is true oh so true that I do not like riding on the scooter. Meme pas du tout!
Look how happy I look and Maman looks VERY bad.
But Maman needs me and doesn’t sleep as well if our noses do not meet like strangers in the night.
And I keep her warm even if it is summer and there is a massive heat wave in Paris. Aiiiie. Heat wave, Scooter…no.
But I remain convaincue that my place is at her side even if it means my fur coat will be heavy and the car fumes will clog my nose and Maman yelling at the Parisian drivers will scare me beaucoup. Especially at l’Etoile. La Place de L’Etoile. The most scary place I have ever encountered.
She explained that she was going for Maika’s BIG birthday. Of course I remember Maika well. Especially her kitchen and now I find I’m panting and salivating. Ohlala, OhLive you ARE A DOG. You live in the NOW. Bon, daccord. Sometimes I forget who I am.
And Maman is going as a birthday present. Une surprise. So she is very excited. Which franchement, I find annoying.
It rains beaucoup and a lot here but thank Dogness Maman got me good rainboots!
Maman got me the BEST rainboots!
She likes me to be confortable and fashionable….we are from Paris after all!
That is one thing about my Maman, she always allows me to get as dirty as I want! I do tend to get things dirty at home quite a bit and frankly I think Maman needs a maid. Maman agrees. We need a maid. Someone to help us to keep our house clean. Ohlala la vie she is not always simple!
So one of the delights of Portland is the rain. It’s very wet here, the rain. Maman could think of nothing better than to get me appropriate gear.
Really, Maman? You actually expect me to wear this?
I don’t mind accessories, I actually like them. I mean, a girl does need to look her best in all circumstances!
But clothing? Dog, no!
Do not forget I am a dog. Humans wear clothes. Dogs do not. This is just my opinion of course.
We went back to Forest Park yesterday and I was running ahead as I usually do…
Youpeeeee!
Maman was on her phone blablabla-ing in French as she does (far too often in my opinion) when BAM! we ran into a Forest Ranger. Ohhhlala !
Maman did not lose her composure, kept speaking in French and tried with great difficulty to understand what the Forest Ranger was saying. Something about leashing one’s dog?
I could not understand the ranger either. But Maman nodded her head and said in a heavy French accent : “Yesss, of course!”
And off we went…
After some hesitation, (I mean what if this was a devious Forest Ranger who was going to follow us or loop to cross paths again?) we removed la laisse.
Ahhhh!
Happy!
We thought about it and well, it is tout a fait plausible that we could be on a photo shoot for a French Magazine and leashed dogs don’t exist in France, do they?
We will ask the friendly Ranger to be in the photo with us next time we see her!
Maman decided to go on a dating site because she is too sad that it ended with the Monsieur. I dont understand why she would want anyone in addition to me in her life. She is my everything. Am I not hers?
She was on the phone for the first time with a Monsieur while we were out for a neighborhood stroll and …”Sylvie” appeared!
“Sylvie” is this GIGANTIC black Newfoundland doggie that lives in the neighborhood and of course she started talking to Sylvie and making all the stupid noises she makes when she sees another dog. I was keeping a safe distance of 20 meters away (Sylvie could sneeze me into oblivion).
It seems the Monsieur on the phone was not very happy with Maman’s effusive Sylvie greetings. Neither was I.
I do not think we will be meeting this particular Monsieur.
Today is Valentine’s day and Maman and I are celebrating how happy we are to have each other!
She thought pearls for the occasion!
Les perles ! But of course, Maman !
I think a duck poop necklace would have been preferable.
We almost had a Monsieur to celebrate with but that relationship ended a few days ago. She scared him off with her “oiseau sur la branche” ways…
Maman is not a big “plan for the future” type. He thought we lived way beyond our means. We doodoo!
As we are both spoiled.
I think he expected me to eat supermarket croquettes. And was shocked that Maman bought Italian spaghetti and French moutarde.
Ohlala! These Americans really they need to go sample and sniff their way in other countries.
But we are changing our ways. Never too late to change!
You can start your day over at any time. That goes for your life as well.
Inasmuch as I have such excellent taste, Maman and I decided to capitalize on this and to see if we could share our enthusiasm for beautiful things Doggie! And so we will open a shop and share what I like with everyone.
Adapting to the Portland ways does have its challenges. For instance, they expect Maman’s to leash their dogs here.
Quelle horreur! Imagine, having to be pulled around. Of course, Maman being Maman, she does not obey the rules.
Which does create some situations.
We go to this formidable park here called Forest Park. 5,200 Acres! Imagine all the sniffing a girl can do. And so many trails! The unfortunate thing is that every once in awhile we will run across a lunatic who thinks I should be contained.
Impossible! I say with a loud echo from Maman.
Maman who is Americaine (even though she has spent countless years in Paris) has perfected the art of not understanding English.
Funnily, in Paris, when we had unfortunate encounters with the Police, she did not speak French either.
Les Monsieurs who we encounter in Forest Park and who we do not understand inasmuch as we are French, can get quite red and heated.
The more heated and red they get, the louder their interpellations and intimidating ways and well, Maman does not intimidate easily. Even though they tower over her. Maman is quite short but acts quite tall. She can get quite loud too. It is the French way after all. Conflict calls for conflict, no?
No. Of course not. Thank Dogness, Maman has started to meditate. I am sure one day we will see results.
In the meantime, she yells right back in her limited English and very rude French.
Frankly, I find her quite scary at times. I will have her take a picture the next time we meet a man who wants to yell unpleasantries. They always photograph us and yell that they will tell the Police or Forest Ranger.
Maman always laughs (too loudly in my opinion) at this and tells them we live in France anyway and she is sure the Forest Ranger will come for her there!
Maman had me 14 years ago and named me Olive and then Maman being Maman and sometimes frankly a bit loopy dans la tete, she added an H to my name. Thus OhLive!
Her initials are L.V and if you say that out loud you get ElleVie which means She Lives. So when she decided to name me Olive, a friend said to her: “Oh thats like Elle Vie…Oh Live!” I realize this may be too complicated for some of you. And Oh live, yes I do!
I am tri-lingual, French, English and Doggie and nothing short of scrumptiously beautiful and of a breed that no one knows or has seen here in this new place Portland, Oregon. Pyrenean Shepard, I am.
The attention I get here is very gentil but really I need to train people to always have cookies on them. I can’t be expected to be interested and cordial to everyone who wants to caress my fur.
Unless of course they want to scratch my behind.
I admit that I do not mind the adoration. I am très jolie as well as très smart, so it is warranted. Quite unique in these parts I am. They don’t seem to have ever seen the likes of moi here. So wherever I go, I am the centerpiece. I admit to being a bit of a snob . After all, I am a Parisienne. Maman is the bitchy one.
As I was saying, who doesn’t enjoy caresses and prolonged derrière scratches. I am particularly fond of derrière scratches.
What is taking so long?
To return to matters of import. I have several adoring fans on the rue Caulaincourt.
Droopy, one of my admirers.
Maman loves all dogs in all sizes, shapes, mixes and is constantly interrupting our walks when we pass any dog, even the most displeasing to the eye. Sometimes I have to yelp at her, she is often on all fours (embarrassing for me) and a bit of hysteria on my part is frankly warranted.
Howling: An effective tool.
At times my bark breaks and I sounds like a Yorkshire. This is embarrassing to me and to Maman who looks at me in horror but it usually gets her moving. By the way, I have nothing against yorkies as long as they keep it shut, la bouche.
Maman moved us here to Portland Oregon from Paris as the funds ran out and frankly the fun too as I was getting quite bored with the leashed French pampered lot. I, of course had style AND status in Montmartre as I was never on a leash (quelle horreur !) and always had a scent about me that induced paroxysims and high pitched yelps from several of the leashed bitches we passed daily. Jealousy is not an attractive trait in a doggie.
Maman and I went for daily scooter rides (not a favorite) to the Bois de Boulogne and its lake where as soon as Maman had her back turned I would perfume myself.
Duck doodoo is a scent I would highly recommend. I would post a sniff link but somehow that is not yet possible. I have never understood why Maman is not in agreement and often raises her voice at me interrupting my perfuming abolutions. I never bark or interrupt her beautifying preparations when she is doing spa activities so I do not understand. Unfair. I perfume myself just like she does and sometimes I roll to add texture to my look. Nothing more normal.
Passing up free perfume is like not browsing the cosmetics counter at Le Bon Marche
Anyway, Maman is busy feeding the corneilles with food that should be going into MY mouth and she will actually get mad at me when I want to eat it too. Imagine, MY food. Several eat directly from her hand. My food, My Maman’s hand, their beaks… I am losing weight just thinking about this.
Maman! My mouth is open too you know….J’ai faim!
It is a good thing that the white Corneille poop perfume is also a favorite. And there frankly, Maman has nothing to say; she is too busy betraying me. By the time we scoot back to Montmartre, my smell is scrumptious and my status unequaled on the rue Caulaincourt.
Ohlala, Maman! Its ok, I know how to cross a street! Vraiment, elle me prends pour une debutante.
Maman is truly bizarre but how I love her, I will count the ways, but might induce a yawn for you and it would be contagieux for me, and right now I am not ready for my nap.
I was quite famous in my Montmartre as you can see…
Why Portland, you ask? Maman played darts with a map of les États Unis 🇺🇸 and that’s how we landed here, knowing no one with our 6 monster suitcases and me being as emotionally supportive to Maman as my fluorescent orange vest allowed.
Maika our bestie, was pushing two caddies with 3 monster bags that were quite perfectly balanced (but then again she is of the German organized lineage).
Good for Maman’s abs!
While Maman’s lineage is less organized, the bags in her caddie kept toppling over.
We had three carts
Maman is a bit bordélique We need a maid. 🎶a doggie needs a maid🎶 . Most of you are too young to remember this song but we are not . We were moving to an Airbnb in Portland for the first two weeks with enough money to survive 3 months. Call Maman kookoo I prefer to think of her as a wild adventuress. I have flown before but never in an airplane.
With Konchufius, my owl friend
The flight was absolutely packed and we got on last as Maman doesn’t like to be herded even though of course that is in my genes. Bergère des Pyrénées you know!
We had a window seat and as we started approaching our seat Maman’s face may have displayed a slight demented edge. I was quite used to it but others maybe not so. The woman seated next to us said: “You two look like you need to be together comfortably” and off she went to find the last middle seat somewhere on the plane.
I like the window seat!
I certainly hope that nice woman did not have to spend the next 13 hours in les toilettes.
Is the woman in les toilettes?
A woman Maman had met on Facebook offered to pick us up at the Airport. Wow. Now somehow I cannot imagine a French Poodle making such an offer. Maman spilled tears of gratitude and quickly accepted. Maman cries easily and often and then laughs. I love ma Maman. It is a good thing I am here. I find them quite tasty, the tears. That femme and her husband were waiting for us when we arrived. We recognized them easily. Something about American fashion. They also had a very large voiture. Thank Dog!
Our Airbnb place had a nice garden and a nice porch. Such greenery and smells, j’adore!
Ahhh nothing like un peu de soleil after a 15 hour flight…
And the flowers…Everywhere! My nose went into overdrive.
Reminds me of the jupe plissée
La vie en ROSE ! Mais oui !
The people we encountered were very nice, the methods of adornments a bit different than what we were used to in Paris.
Does a “sleeve” keep one warm, if say you have two?I had never seen such ear adornments
At the local supermarket we met a very nice man and he truly loves his dog.
See your doggie every time you look in the mirror!
I am trying to persuade Maman that she needs my image on her neck. I don’t understand why she is not more excited about this idée ?
The nature here is formidable ! (click to hear one of my ❤ songs)
OhLive! 